The Nastroism
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Kennedy Center, The Chenter of our universe



A Message from the church

Welcome, Fellow.

We are The Church of Our Humyn of the Ascension, an organization of the future which reads, translates, interprets, and expresses The Nastroism for humynity. We are no longer a megaspecies and it is the goal of Sender Hamilton to unite every last one of us in a singular vision. The Church was founded in the Shepard's year Two Three Eight Eight by Sender Hamilton on the spiritual site of Kennedy Center, the center of our Universe. The path of humynity has crossed through this sacred site and was fated to leave this Earth as foretold by the Prophet Shepard. In order to follow the Shepard's path and enter the realm above, one must follow The Nastroism and abandon one's unhealthy existence. Cleanse yourself in the Shepard's canaveral, and follow Sender Hamilton as he searches for the Shepard's path to the celestial vault.  With your faith, he will carry us all off of Earth into the realm above, beyond the celestial temple, and on to the faintest stars in our Universe. 

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OUr guiding principles &


It is the goal of the Church of Our Humyn of the Ascension to spread the words and wisdom of The Nastroism. We are determined to assist humynity in following the Prophet Shepard's path to the celestial vault, and into the realm above. 

After the cosmotic diaspora, a third of humynity was been left behind to complete the task of existence, which once achieved, will beckon the return of our brethren who left this world on the celestial tower. When our brethren return, our people will be at last united, and can fulfill our destiny by leaving Earth and becoming one with the cosmos.

The Church of Our Humyn of the Ascension puts humynity first, and it will operate at the sacred site of Kennedy Center, the center of the Universe, to turn the faithless into the faithful, and to fulfill the Shepard's vision for humynity. 

“It is Humyn responsibility to leave Earth and join its brethren in the celestial vault, eighty and four tenths kilometers zenith at ocean’s edge.”




& You

The Church of Our Humyn of the Ascension proudly sponsors this webpage to educate the remaining humyn population on The Nastroism. We were left behind by our cosmos-bound brethren to repurify Earth, once our task is complete, they will return for us so we may forever join them in the realm above. To this end, The Church sees educating humynity as a form of purifying; as we clean the soil, air, and waters, we must clean ourselves. Join us in the endeavor to finish the Utopia The Tyson started, we are located at the Launch Annex of Kennedy Center, the Center of the Universe, Capitol of the nation of Earth. Unifaction 1A, Complex 4. 

“We overlook the sacred freshwaters of the canaveral, the root of the Shepard’s path to the celestial vault. What better place for faith could there be? We must leave this Earth pure, that is to say, as humynity found it, perfect and changing”



Why we are here

To help all of what's left of humynity to follow the Shepard's path into the celestial vault. We instruct our followers on the only remaining faith of Nastroism through its tenets and philosophies. The remaining humyns must find our way into the realm above and leave Earth once and for all. 

Sender Hamilton's role

Sender Hamilton is ordained by the Rite of the Senders and Searchers, he has committed himself to preparing humynity to follow the Shepard's path and forever enter realm above. Follow his example and live a good life of health and happiness in home and on Earth. 

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Your salvation

By joining the church, you take on the awesome responsibility to carry out the will of the Prophet Shepard and to follow his teachings from The Nastroism. You must dedicate your life to preserving Earth's natural processes. Only then will you find salvation in the realm above.  


continue earth's transformation

From the time of the first and second Utopias, humynity has been re-purifying the Earth by abandoning dangerous methods of creating energy. Every humyn must complete the chore by living well and, ultimately, leaving Earth. 




Sacred Grounds


The Church of Our Humyn of the Ascension is located at Kennedy Center, the center of our Universe, overlooking the Shepard's canaveral and the ancient Vehicle Assembly Building. The permanent collection can be viewed during solar hours at the Launch Annex. 

The Universe Is
Under No Obligation
To Make Sense To You.
— The Tyson